When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with portal hypertension with esophageal varices. In simple terms, portal hypertension is an increase in pressure within the portal vein, and esophageal varices are enlarged veins in the esophagus that develop because of this increased pressure. The presence of esophageal varices poses a risk of bleeding, which is a serious complication of portal hypertension. I was constantly in the hospital receiving treatments so I did not bleed to death.
As a four year old, this was very difficult to deal with. I did not understand what was happening to me or why I was constantly in the hospital. All I knew was that I could not live a normal life, and this angered me. I was told not to do many things because they could increase the risk of internal bleeding. I was so angry with life that I put my fist through my bedroom window.
So you may ask, how is this a story of rising from the ashes? My parents got me the help I needed. I went to a therapist and talked about why I was so angry. I learned to better understand my anger and deal with it. Instead of remaining angry about the cards I was dealt, I learned to look for things I could enjoy while living this abnormal life. I turned to Star Wars and art.
When I was in the hospital, I was confined to a bed, so there was not much to do. Art was something I could use to express myself. I loved to draw, and I still love art. I do not think I would have the same love for it without my medical problems.
I have a massive love for Star Wars. I watched it on repeat in the hospital. It meant the world to me to have a world I could escape into that was so different from reality. Looking back today, these medical problems made me the person I am. In a strange way, I am thankful I went through those challenging times. My mom believes Star Wars kept me alive because it was one of the few things I truly had to look forward to.
I remember waiting for Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. I was so excited to see a new movie I had not already watched one hundred times. By the time it was released, I was six and had already been through a lot. Little did I know my journey was far from over.
No matter what challenge you are facing, you can conquer it. You need to look for the light within the darkness. My light was Star Wars and art. If you can find something that brings you joy at the end of a rough day, it will make all the difference. Looking forward to that time will keep you going. I still use that method today. Every night, I set aside time to play video games with my friends. It is time I look forward to, and it keeps me pushing through all the boring nonsense.
If I am having a bad day, I know in the back of my mind that I will get to do one of my favorite things, talk with the boys, and have a good time.